Thursday, August 22, 2013

Self expression

Yes, I still blog. Though I know probably no one reads it anymore but well, that's even better!


Happy.

I am happy. Genuinely happy with my life, alhamdulillah. I am grateful for all the blessings I have. One of them would have to be crossing paths with my current boyfriend, H. We've been a couple for a month plus already and things are great between us, alhamdulillah. I know that it's only a month but staying in a relationship is very difficult these days so even though it's a month, I'm still proud of it and I don't care what people think. This guy makes me even more happy than I was before. He's the fudge on top of an ice cream. Makes everything better.

With him, It feels truly genuine. I have no doubts about his love for me. I trust him. I've never told my parents that I have a boyfriend before. I mean, I would just assume they already know which they do so that spared me the fear of telling them. This time, with him, I told my mother. I was upfront and honest with the fact that he was my boyfriend. I didn't say anything to my father yet cause it is still too soon but still. This is a huge thing to me because I've never done it before. Not even with Amin and I was with him for almost 3 years. 

I have to be frank here and say that I can feel that what H and I have is very special. It's a spark like no other. People may not notice it but I know myself and I feel the difference. Due to the fact people usually don't take notice about how I function, they probably wouldn't realize that Love Song is the first happy love song I've written so far. Correction, first happy song in general. I have always tried composing a positive song but I can't seem to get it or stick to it because for the past 18 years, I wasn't completely happy. 

For the past 18 years, the negativity overpowered the positivity and now its the opposite. I feel the difference. I've grown so much and I've learned so much about myself and who I was. I no longer feel angry with the fact Amin and I broke up. We definitely should have and honestly, I never thought I'd say this but I'm glad that we parted ways because if we didn't, I wouldn't have met the perfect guy for me. I wouldn't have met the person who understands me completely and fell for who I am and not how I looked.

Our love is magic because it only took one single look to ignite the fire. Fate has its ways. That's why you have to always trust it. Have faith in fate and always trust your gut and instinct. My instinct about him was really strong. I was in denial at first but as things progressed, my thoughts and feelings doesn't seem too crazy after all. Yes, we got together super fast but sometimes things happen when it wants to happen. In my case, I'm glad it happened when it did. 

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