Isn't that love?

LOVE.

What is it? 

So, what is love? How does it feel? 

In my personal opinion, these aren't facts, I'm just stating what it is in my own perspective. Love is when you feel like you're home. Love is when you know that at the end of the day, it's where you can go back to. Be it a building, a person, an object, anything!  

Loving a person (relationship) is exactly the same. You know you love a person when you start the day with them and you end the day with them. You know you love a person when you still feel that same tingling feeling even after being together for a long time. Love is very subjective. It can mean a lot of different things to different people. If I were to write down all about what I think love is, it would probably be a never ending essay. 

Love however, doesn't come by often. You feel it only with certain people. It cannot be forced and grown from zero. At least not to me. I can only love a person if I already have that initial interest. Love is just like a plant. I needs a seed to grow. That's me. That's how I function and I've only had one seed planted until the day I met H. 

I can still remember how I felt when I first saw him. Though, I can't explain what I felt. I wish I could but it's simply unexplainable yet I knew that this person was special. I felt it in my gut that this is a sign but being human, we will always have doubts and so I did nothing. I didn't go looking for him. Neither did I actually pay attention to this. I went on with my life like normal. 

Suddenly, fate came back and completed its purpose. Some way somehow, the world brought us back together and we got closer and closer each time we have a conversation. He really is special. From the way he talks, the way he thinks, his opinions etc. I started falling for him. I tried to contain myself and prevent myself from doing so but I failed. Probably it's just fate telling me to accept its gift and in the end, I did. I found my home.

People can talk about how fast it happened and all of that and to be honest, it is. It did happen really fast but that is why you need to have faith. Things will fall into place just as long as you believe it can. Law of attraction. I believed and so far Alhamdulillah, it has been going great. I've been smiling a lot and I genuinely am happy. I finally feel like I got the happiness I deserve. 

Mr. H makes me happy. He is amazing. Even words cannot describe him. I'm a very lucky girl to be able to be with someone so nice and sincere. I know you're probably thinking "Alaa, baru sekejap je. Lama lama bosan lah tu" or somewhere along those lines, but this guy makes me feel like how Amin made me feel but even better. Way way better. I can feel in my skin, bones and fats that this is the guy I wanna be with till I can't any more. 

Until next time, X

Butterflies, don't fly away.

Life has been such a bumpy ride lately, a rollercoaster. But that's life. You can't have it all, all the time. There will come a time where you are at your worst and also your best. I was not in the best state I can be last month. I was stressed, annoyed, insecure and just plain sad. Couldn't help but to feel like that at the time but it's natural and I knew that I'll get back up and that's what happened.

I got back up. With the help of my family, my two beloved roommates, my oh so loving coursemates and another person who should remain nameless for the moment - let's call him, Anonymous. So, I've been spending a lot of time with my two roommates, Afiqah and Zulaika (unofficial roommate). I don't have that many girl friends so spending time with them really makes me happy. Honestly, I do not know how they feel about me being around them but I am honestly thankful to have them around me. I enjoy their company.

My coursemates? Well, I recently started wearing hijab and I am touched by how supportive they are of it. You know, I would never thought that I could clique with them but I was absolutely wrong. They are just as crazy as I am and it's awesome. To have these smart people who are not only smart but not boring! They are far from boring and trust me, they know how to have fun. They made bearing with EE Engineering a lot easier because they are so helpful. They aren't selfish when it comes to sharing knowledge and helping out. They are family. We are one family and I'm happy to be a part of that family.

So about Mr. Anonymous. I haven't known him for very long but I want to. I wanna get to know him. I believe in fate and the fact that everything happens for a reason. I don't know if this is fate or anything but that's where faith comes along. Personally, it is extremely difficult for me to actually fall for someone. I'm not being choosy, it's just the heart saying that he's not the one. And because I am easily annoyed. I cannot stand stalkers who has to search my name in Google to know more about me or rely on reading my tweets to know how I'm currently feeling. I'm a social network addict but when it comes to relationships, I do not believe in using the social network to mainly communicate or know more about the person. So back to Mr. Anonymous. As of now, July 13, 2013 (not saying I'll be certain of this feeling in the future), he's awesome. I won't describe why here because well, I don't want to jinx it but I will say this. He makes me want to care. There's this feeling inside me which I can't really tell if I've felt it before or not but I want it to stay.

Life is good when it's good. I have got to remind myself that that could easily change so that I won't take things for granted. I'd share more but until I feel comfortable doing so, this will be it.

X