:/

At this very moment i am feeling soooo insecure and i don't know why.

I feel as if i am not special to him. I have done a lot of things to prove how much i care for him and i've done what i can to put in as much effort possible to keep us going but i feel like i'm doing everything. What is he doing to prove how he feels and what is he doing to make an effort?

I do see a little but that's it. JUST a little. He can't expect me to do everything. I envy most girls who has the type of guy who is not afraid nor shy to admit that he loves the girl and would have guts to show to the world that, that girl is his and that girl is special. not just any other typical girls. She is someone special.

Not that i care about the showing the world part but to be one of those girls who feels special to a guy (especially the guy you love) would be nice. I am thankful i even have a guy who loves me but how do i really know if he really does? I can compare him with a number of other guys who actually express how he feels and who is better but in the end i still chose that particular guy. 

I am the type of girl who doesn't care what people say or thinks about what she does. That's their problem. As long as i am happy, then that's good enough but when you have a guy its different. As long as both of us is happy then im good but right now, i am not happy. I don't feel special. I feel like what we are will only stay in school. That's not cool. I see other couples out there and im jealous. totally jealous. but i just bear with it and live with it.

xoxo,

SYAKIRAH :'/

Holiday Schmoliday

Hey yall!

I know i haven't updated my blog. I was busy and lazy. haha

Anyways, This holiday i went to

Kerteh, Terengganu. It may not be the most awesome place ever but its quite interesting :D

I slept at Awana Kijal and i even slept in the suite but only for one night only. haha. then i switched to a premier room overlooking the beach (:

The suite has its own jacuzzi tub outside at the courtyard and at the courtyard, there is a gate heading to the beach. Cool right? well there's more but you'd have to see for yours

elf.

The first day i was there i went to Mesra Mall whi

ch is the ONLY mall there and there are not many stores (sakit hati je) haha,

after that i went to the beach.

i helped my nephews build sand castles and i played frisbee, played in the water and i even got myself buried in the sand! :D

Cool right? i know! but omgosh you have no idea how heavy the sand was. haha. and itchy! hahaha :D

Then i went swimming and played water gun fight with my nephew izran. haha i know it sounds childish but hey! its fun and i have to because i had to take care of them. hee What to do? i am their one and only Aunty Baby (:

Then i went back to my room and ate dinner and the next day i left for Kuala Gandah, Pahang. We went to see elephants and i even went to deerland! :D

The elephants were huge and scary. haha.
oh and not to mention smelly. peeyouhh! hahhaa
anywayss. i did alotta things and im kinda lazy to share anymore. hehe.
till next post! :D

SYAKIRAH ;P