Man of Mystery

Hello there fellow readers (if there are any) ,
I'm gonna start my blog with a poem.

Each morning I wake up,

I feel completely different,

On rare occasions I feel the same,

Well that depends on the situation.

Even though my feelings changes,

Something seems to just stay,

My thoughts about you, my friend,

Pops out in my head each and everyday.

So, that explains briefly of what I'm about to write here in my blog. Okay, there's this guy in my college. Let me describe him from my point of view on how he looks. He is tall, skinny but not skin and bones skinny. Not too fair yet not dark. More or less like mocha? Anyway, he wears spectacles. His hair is indescribable and he has the most adorable smile I have ever seen on a person by far. So basically to me, he's cute.

I'm not going to fill in too many details cause I don't plan on letting y'all know who I'm referring to though if you're brilliant and observant then you should be able to guess by that description alone but nevertheless, I'm just going to continue on my story.

Recently, I have been developing these feelings. Attraction. This guy attracts me in ways I can't comprehend. He's very mysterious and quiet and just utterly intriguing. I can't seem to know what he is thinking and it's not like he showed signs of interest or anything. It's just that he is exciting by being quiet. Which is odd because he didn't do anything. He just makes me wanna know him more and more and makes me wonder what's on his mind. 

He has more or less the same taste as I do. Music wise. I mean, I can clique with him and he's just interesting somehow. I have to admit that I do fancy this guy but I just wanna know if there is chance at all. Doesn't have to be now. It can be in the future, who knows but I just wanna know if there is a possibility? If there is an attraction on his side towards me. I just need to know.

Why I need to know? That is another story..................................................................................................

It Will Be Okay by Syakirah

Hey just for those who wants the lyrics to my new song, here it is!
Here's the link to those who wanna listen -  It Will Be Okay by Syakirah (Original Song)

Verse 1

Sometimes you don't get what you want

But it's alright

Yeah it's alright

You might think that it is over now

But it's not

Just keep holding your head up high.

Chorus

How I wish that it'd stay the same

How I hope that things haven't changed

At least to something that wasn't true

I just know that we could be

Living together happily

Guess it's something we were forced to do

Letting go of me and you

Me and you

Verse 2

Everything happens for a reason

But you'll never know

You'll never know what it is.

You just gotta let it flow

Let it go

Even though

You know there's nothing you can do

Chorus x2

But things are not the same

Everything just had to change

Now it's time to face the truth

I've gotta live my life without you

Who am I?

Who am I? 

I'm a girl who lost sight of happiness in her life. Don't get me wrong. I'm utterly thankful for everything I have up until this day but as human beings, nothing is enough for us. We keep wanting more. 

What I want isn't necessarily what I need but having it in my life will change how I act on a daily basis. Having something so close and so dear to you been taken away from you forever can honestly kill a person. I know I have mentioned this in my previous post but what the hell do I care? 

It hurts.

What more can I say? It hurts. It hurts as though someone cuts you open in half while you were concious and ripped your heart out and carved their initial on it and assemble everything back together as if nothing ever happened. It hurts. I may have exaggerated the feeling but I swear the first time it hit me, that's how it felt.

Don't judge me unless you know how it feels. You don't know me and you don't know what I've been through for the past 18 years. I may be young, yes and I am aware that there are still a lot of things I don't understand and lack in knowledge but don't underestimate my emotions, imaginations and thoughts. 

Love

When it comes down to love, it's pretty straight forward. I love to love but I love to love someone who I love but at the same time they love me back and the love that we have is mutual and not one sided but yeah who the hell wants to get involved with a complex person like me? No one.

I mean I don't wanna be picky or anything but this is not like picking out clothes or something. This is picking out a partner that you may or may not end up with in the future. It's not that there are a lot of criteria's to fulfill but these things you just can't mess around with. Love isn't an experiment. You're not supposed to test out each match one by one, no. It doesn't work that way. Not to me that is. 

I'm falling from cloud 9

Hey.
I'm in need to express something and I would like some opinion on this. So the question is:-

Let's say you've been with a person for almost 3 years. and after more or less the 2nd year and 7th month of the relationship, your relationship failed but not because either one fell out of love but it's because you're forced to let your lover go. I repeat forced. And both of you are still madly in love with each other. If you were in this situation, would you move on and date another person a couple of weeks after the fallout or would you be taking your time and pray that the relationship can go on like normal in the future? Just imagine that you still love your partner. Would you?

As for me, I wouldn't and I couldn't even if I tried. This is what's happening to me. My supposedly other half found another girl with no time at all and I could consider me and the new girl friends. I cannot explain how distraught I feel and oh God I can't express how badly I wanna curse at both of them simultaneously right now. What's worse is that the girl knew how much I'm still in love with him. She knew and still didn't have the decency and the courtesy to refrain herself.

And what drove me even more off the wall was the fact that he used to badmouth this girl to me and he'd say that he doesn't like this type of girl. She is everything he hates yet now he's dating her. I can never do that. Moving on so quickly. I can't but I am trying my fucking hardest to. I'm sick of this treatment. Forever unappreciated by society. Never getting the respect I deserve. I'm done.

All in all, you're an ass and she's a bitch. Nothing more I can say to that.