I AM JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY IN THIS WORLD!

no matter what i do. How nice i am to people. How hard i try on things. Nothing makes me good enough. Nobody is ever satisfied with what i am and who i am. I'm sorry i'm not what you want me to be. I'm sorry i'm not little miss perfect. But if you love me, you should know and learn to accept me for who i am. What? you want me to be what you want me to be? So meaning, you'll love me just because i am what you ask me to be? BULLSHIT LAH! I won't change for anyone but me. People can advise me to be a better person but its my choice isn't it? I'm not gonna change for a person. I'll only change for me. 

Why can't I be accepted? 

I know i am not perfect. 

But why can you accept other people except for me?

Why am i an exception in this case?

I am only human.

I feel like i'm trash. 

Useless trash.

I'm sorry i'm not good enough for anybody in this world. 

Sue me.

out, ★

A reason

Human 1 : 

Give me one good reason to not be happy right now. I know you cant! :p

Human 2 : 

Yes I can

Human 1 :

Phfft, prove it

Human 2 : 

Maybe I will

Human 1 : 

Then prove it!

Human 2 :

Oh shit I forgot

Human 1 : 

Excuses! 

*argue like losers*

Human 3 : 

Okay I'll give you the reasons! I'll give you two!

one, exams aren't over yet

two, both of you.

Now shut it, i'm tryna study.

Human 1 and 2 :

okay.

Sorry, I know its not funny and it doesn't make sense but I was bored. HAHA

I miss :

♥ My childhood that I don't really remember

♥ My grandma, Tok Mak

♥ My cousins at Johor

♥ Primary school

 ♥ Dancing

♥ Performing at charity events

♥ Performing in general

♥ Tap dancing

♥ Uncle Yai )':

♥ Hanging out with my sisters

♥ Flora damansara
♥ Songwriting

♥ You

Today I feel : 
- Touched
- Awwed
- Tired
- Hungry
- Dizzy
- Sneezy
- Sleepy
- Hungry
- Loved
- Cared


etc......

EXAMINATION

why must you exist?

So far,

BM = Fail

Accounts = Fail

Physics = Fail

Chemistry = Fail

Add Maths = Double Fail!

And the rest? Well, i'm guessing also Fail! 

I'm such a failure. I study my effing arse off but yet, I'm still a failure. Damnit! -_-

Whoaaa, How long has it been since i blogged? Shizzz, a long time maan. Okayy, whats happening so far. Hmm, Practically nothing new. Nah, i'm lying. Haha. Obviously there are new things but most of them I just have to keep it to myself. Ngehee :p Btw, don't ask! I won't say. Haha. 


Everything has been going quite well. I understand the current add maths topic. hehe. I feel smart but I really hate the first 3 chapters of it. I understand nothing. haha. I think i'm gonna do some exercise after this. I really need to improve myself for the better. 


Exams are in 2 weeks. Fcckkk. The worst part is, the paper will be in FULL FORMAT. Like you know, SPM format so i'll confirm fail! Especially sejarah. Oh gosh, and also Add Maths. aiyayai. I've to study. I think i'm gonna start going to the library. Anyone wants to tag along aswell, by all means, please do. Hehe. 


Friends are great. Last week on wednesday, a bunch of us hanged out at Fareena's house and all of us went to the park to play and all. hehe. I had a blast. Then when we all went back to Far's place, we all sang while Danial played the guitar. It was definitely an 'AWWWW' moment. heee :D I felt like we're all a family living in the same house. Heee :D


Boyfriend? well, what else can I say. So far so great. hehe. He's just the best. No one can make me feel the way I do other than him. He is so far the only one who makes me feel extra love. I'm not being perasan but I really feel like he really does love me. I know he isn't joking around or fooling around this time and I'm thankful. Yes, when we fight is the worst thing ever but that's how relationships are.We're bound to fight. But we gotta make it through together (: hee 


Kay i think thats the only update of my life so far. haha. Skaadusshh

out, ★

Tribal Escapade III

Woooh! I am T.I.R.E.D. My family, The Shamsuddins had our annual Family Day starting on Saturday. I left home at like almost 10 i think. HAHA. Reached there before noon. Pheww! (: Then there was registration and all of us helped out and all. I played with my adorable and squeezable nephews. Oh especially ADAMMMMM! That little 2 or 3 year old little rascal is supeeerbb cute! geraaam. haha.


After that, we ate lunch and there was like a brief briefing. haha. get it? brief briefing? HAHA. Okay lame. Anyway, then we went up to our rooms and changed into our team colour shirts. I'm in blue team btw! :D Me, nana and najwa then rested in our room and caught up with each others life. awww hehe ♥


Then group discussions! We had to design our team banner and create our team warcry. Blue team was called 'BLUE SHARK BITES'. Green was 'THE INCREDIBLE HULK'. Red was 'RED ANTS' (lame! :p). Yellow was 'LEAN MEAN YELLOW MACHINE'. My team's warcry sucked but our banner was da bomb! :D


After we've done our warcries and all, we had a telematch event. Oh my gosh it was hilarious. It was fun. I enjoyed that part. Blue team won the overall telematch! Ngee ;D Awesome right? I know! hahaha


Then we went back to our rooms and bathed and got ready for dinner. Me, nana and najwa performed so we had to wear dresses. haha. After dah get ready, we ate, watched the AV presentation, listen to Big Chief make jokes then we performed. And my family, The Arabee's made a special surprise performance too! We made a tribute to Michael Jackson dance. My dad, haish, I really cant explain. You'd have to watch it. It was so FUNNY AND CRAZILY KELAKAR GILA! HAHA. So then finito. 


Today we had the prize giving ceremony and Yellow team won first, Green second, Blue third(thanks to our lame warcry -_- haha) and red got last. haha. And dah thats it. hehe. I had fun. ♥♥♥

out, ★

Whoaa, how long has it been(for me) since I updated my blog? Haha. I've been busy like a bee this past few weeks. Okay, I've not much to update anyway though just that my dad bought me a new guitar. Heee. I love it! :D Thanks Abah and Umi! ♥♥


Other than that, school is basically just school. Homeworks. Teachers. Friends. Boyfriend. So yeah. Haha. There have been complications regarding my relationship with loverboy. It's nothing that either of us did to each other. Just a lot of accusations that makes both of us be in a bad mood and upset. I shall not go any further. This is between me and him. Oh! And next Wednesday is our 3rd month anniversary. Hee :D Okay I know it's just the 3rd month but so what? I'm happy that we could make this far together. Hehe. Okay, I know this will sound so totally jiwang karat nak mampus but I don't care! I love him love him love him soooo much! Only those who are close to me knows how much. They've seen how I am last year, they saw how crazy I got over him. Now, this year, I finally got him and i'm just so thankful. Gosh i miss him. I miss laughing and hanging out with him. I miss him annoying me, i miss his laugh. Hehe. Ohh goshh, I know what you're thinking, "this girl is freaking obsessed over her own boyfriend". SO WHAT?! let me be. What girl isn't obsessed over their boyfriend? There are some girls that aren't but apparently, i don't belong to that bunch. I'm happy with who i'm with and i don't plan to let him go unless there is a reasonable reason for me to do so. Otherwise, no way. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be there for him as long as I possibly can. (:

BAPAK JIWANG SIAL AKU HARI NI! 

WHOTS THA FUCK? HAHAHAHAHAHA

out, ★

Third times the charm ;D

Okay, bowling is donee. Woooh! Okayy. I did way better on the third day than the first two days. I'm proud that I made it this far even though i'm an amateur. I'm happy. hee.


I really miss my friends and Amin like so so much! ): It's been like what, a week? Shizz. I really can't wait to see them on friday. That is if i'm going to school though. But I most probably am. Ngee. Okay. There's not really that much to update so imma go now. hehe. see ya! Skaadushh.

out, ★

hey ya'll, yesterday's game didn't go that well. I know I could do so much better but it was like 6 games. Tiring y'know. I'm gonna try and do much better today. I don't want to disappoint anybody. I don't wanna be the weak link in the team. I'm gonna prove to them that a girl who doesn't have her own bowling ball can do it! :D


Oh yeah! btw, if anybody wants to come and support me tomorrow, lemme know yeah? But if you want to follow, ask your parents because you might be home at 8 or 9. hee. Alright, i'll update more later when I get back. skaadushh. 

out, ★