Secondly, its so panaas. hahaha
Thirdly, adalah some'in some'in. HOHO.
And lastly I can't get him off my mind! Ishh. It's driving me nuttsoo!
Usually, everytime I wake up I'd have a smile on my face because I get to go to school to see him. Now, hmmph! jgn harap lah! When I reach school, the first thing I think about is, "oh gosh, another day to feel down, shit." It's a good thing i have my homies especially fatimah. haha. We'd do random stuff everyday. hehe ILOVEYOUTEMPLETEMPLETIMES! HEE :P
You know what, the thing that makes me sooooo pissed and angry the most is the reason you wanna stop.
YOU ARE SHY. =.=' freaking bullshit! dude, you can overcome it for gods sake. Its learnable. There is a thing called asking for advice you know. And the way you said it was just cruel okay. Have you ever thought to atleast reassure that i was doing okay? huh? I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TELL YOU I WAS IN A BLOODY CAR ACCIDENT! I WAS PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE AND WRECKED. I WAS IN PAIN AND I WAS INJURED BUT REGARDLESS OF HOW I FELT, YOU ATTACKED ME!! Obviously you increased the pain for me. It wouldnt hurt as much if you'd find a suitable time to confront me. BUT NO! YOU DID IT WITHOUT THINKING!
And plus, you said the way you treat me is like you tengah main - mainkan i. You'd only feel that way if you were really playing around with my feelings. Were you? honestly? Did you even mean a single 'iloveyou' that you said? Did you?
To think i thought you were different. I backed you up, do you know that! I defended you! My friends and family told me that you arent worth it, a jerk, childish, immature and etc.. but do you know what i did? I WENT AGAINST THEM! I FREAKING BELIEVED YOUR CRAP! If you didn't want me to do that or anything or sacrifice, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GIVEN ME FALSE HOPE! Now, i can't face you anymore. It hurts so much to even see your face. You really broke my heart
do you have any idea how strong the word 'iloveyou' is? Suuper. Thats for me la.
That word is so important to me because i have never felt loved in another way before. Yes i have felt loved by my family and friends but never in the relationship type. I've been soo curious to know how to feel the way everyone else feel when they're loved by their partners. And don't get me wrong, i'm not desperate. Just curious. And I don't just randomly pick a guy. Yes, Im a little choosy. Its very difficult for me to love someone but once I do, that person is the only one i'll pay attention to. Although other people who could be better shows up, I'll still stay loyal until that person hurts me. Like now for instance.
I guess it was my mistake thinking you could finally be the person who'd make me feel that way and putting my hopes too high. But at one point, I really thought I felt being loved by you but it didn't last that long. You changed. Suddenly everything seems to fall out of place. My dear darling, I really did and still do love you but I will never forget what you've done to me. Whether its good or bad. I shant forget it.
And I hope, one day you'd realize what you've done and make it a lesson that shouldnt be repeated in the future. But why the hell am I even saying this pun. Like you read my blog. =.=
Heck, I dont even think you know i have a blog and even if you did, i bet you'd care less than to read it. Whatever. Hmm. bye.
yes, i know i suck,
Syakirah
Syakirah
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