PSYCHADELIC

Officially Missing You

2011-12-24T23:01:00.002+08:00

As my title has clearly stated. I'm officially missing you. I don't know whether or not I've made the right decision or not but what I'm feeling now makes me think I didn't. All the things I miss:

1. Our late night phone calls
2. Our adventurous outings
3. Our spontaneous dancing
4. The laughs we shared
5. The things we saw
6. Your adorably shy-ish-with-me personality
7. Basically, you.

I miss all of you. Everything that we did together and everything we were planning to do together. I've made a lot of mistakes and I don't know if I can ever get them back. I'm stuck on a fine line between two wants and I don't know which is best for me. I'm in a mess. I love the old but I'm missing the new. I really love the old. So much but I feel like the spark is fading. The fireworks aren't there constantly when its supposed to.

I need to go away. Far away so I'll know for sure who my heart longs for the most.
Till then,

out, ★

Chocolate cream chip for Ms/Mr .......

2011-12-21T01:12:00.000+08:00

TOO MUCH ICE, TOO LITTLE ICE ETC.........

You think making beverages is fun and easy? Well it IS fun but it definitely isn't easy! I thought it was simple. I was wrong. Absolutely W.R.O.N.G wrong!

As you may have realized, I started making drinks today. Whee! but just cold drinks though. Still whee! Hehe but man it was difficult! You gotta remember the ID codes, what it meant and all that jazz. But it was fun. Real fun!

Tomorrow i'll be working the night shift which is from 5pm to 11.30pm so i'll be making drinks. Yayerz! :B I've accomplished a lot of things in TWO days okay! Which is absurdly fast. The surprising thing is that my store manager wants me to learn about being a cashier by THIS FRIDAY! No shit! Haha. Kinda nervous but well, sooner or later I'll have to do it anyway. Hehe

I guess thats all for now.

barista out ★

Its a little bit funny...

2011-12-19T23:32:00.002+08:00

...This feeling inside...

Haloo, Ignore the title. Its just a name of a song I like by Elton John called Your Song. ♥

So if you read my previous post you should already know that I started work today! *applause* :B

I did the basic-est thing today. Well yeah duhh, it's only my first day. Terer gila aku dapat buat air terus on the first day. Lol

Anyway, yeah. I learned the ways of washing the dishes and my FIRST time using a DISHWASHER! Haha, I know I'm like a kid who's never been to a theme park but hello? Who uses a dishwasher at home? Not me so bite me for being uber excited :D

Other than cleaning, I learned how to warm up food! You may think "oh letak kat microwave, picit button je. Apa susah?" but its more than that. You have to remember what the food is called, what category its in, the meaning of the short forms on the microwave screen, multitasking, the correct way to carry the thing. Its a lot than what we usually do at home. Its mildly complicated but fun! ☺

OH! and today I conducted my first COFFEE TASTING. *crowd cheers* Haha. It was a lot of fun and my store manager said this "For a first timer you're actually not bad". More or less like that. Not to brag but it IS an accomplishment you know? So I'm proud. I really am. Alhamdulillah.

So, to put it simply, my first day as a barista wasn't all bad. My colleges were friendly and I'm happy. Hopefully it stays that way, InsyaAllah. I do not want last year to repeat. Tak pasal pasal I'm like the target and victim padahal I was just doing my job. -_-

That concludes today's post. For now. Hehe :B

out, ★

Hello, how may I help you?

2011-12-19T10:54:00.000+08:00

STARBUCKS!

So, today is the 19th of December and its my first day of work as a barista at Ikano's Starbucks! :B To be honest, I'm kind of nervous. I don't know what to expect and all and I'm scared like I'm the only nooby one there. Haha.

Well, right now I don't really know what to blog about because my mind is currently a bit blanked out so to cut to the chase, I'm a part-time barista in training! Whee! :D

mucho gracias ★

After so long

2011-12-17T22:21:00.002+08:00

YES! It has been like prehistoric time since I blogged. School and life itself has been awfully hectic. I couldn't keep up. Well, now I have all the time in the world. Free at last from the terror of exams and such - for now.

A lot of things has been happening. And when I mean a lot, really means A LOT. I've been feeling like I'm losing my friends. I must honestly say that I do not have that one person that I can rely to. That one person who's always with me. That one person who will be there for me through thick and thin. That one person I can call my best friend. I haven't found that person yet and I really want to.

Days after highschool has been quite lonely for me. I know I'm at fault too but I can't help but feel like I am not wanted. Even though I'm invited but it's out of courtesy. You know? I'm the kind of person who does not like being in a place where I'm neither needed nor wanted there. I know its a bit snobbish but I do that to avoid getting myself hurt and based on my past experience, I pretty much have a complete track record of being hurt and that's only by my peers. Excluding relationship.

I am definitely a pessimistic person, no doubt about that but i can't help it. The things I'm forced to go through are excruciatingly painful and I'm sick of it! I need happiness.

I shall continue in another point in time.

Till then,
Syakirah ♪

I think, i just think...

2011-05-18T00:06:00.000+08:00

There's a possibility, i still love you since the last time I said it. Honestly, this doesn't happen, not to me. It all started from that simple dream. It was nothing but i don't know. It left a feeling that is killing me right now. I can't stop thinking of you but I know i can't be with you, and that's killing me even more. Love kills

Help me spare the pain, please.

2011-05-15T02:19:00.000+08:00

I don't exactly know how I feel. It all started with that dream. It changed every perception I had of you. I don't look at you the way I used to. Am I stupid for feeling this way? Is it wrong? Wait, yeah that's a stupid question, of course its wrong -_-

I feel like this is where I belong.

Maybe I'm a little naive but I can't help but to think that something could happen.

Maybe, possibly. Only time will tell and only God can decide my fate.

Go with the flow lah conclusionnya

-

2011-05-15T02:14:00.000+08:00

I hate this feeling.

I love this feeling.

I want this feeling to stay.

Bite me, I'm confused k

Been awhile

2011-04-03T15:02:00.000+08:00

Yeah I know Its been awhile, bite me.
I've been quite busy with school and what not and i don't really have the time to blog. My life has become quite boring and so there isn't that much to blog about so yeah. Imma stop right here. but before that i must say that I wrote a song. I wrote it during a massive heartbreak so sue me for being so emo. I still haven't thought of the title yet though. but here it is :

Verse 1:

I never knew that this could happen

to me

And i cannot decide what to do

I know it isn't all that easy

but I don't know if you're true

You might not be lying

but you're not being honest too

You cannot deny it cause you know

I can't be fooled

Oh please think about it

cause you know you have not thought this through

My darling do something please

You know how much I love you

Chorus :

I don't want us to end

I don't want you to leave

Cause my baby you're all that I need

You know I love you so

My baby please don't go

My days will be lonely

Without you

Verse 2 :

The days that we have spent together now

Well you know they cannot be replaced

Every memory keeps coming back in

And especially when I see your face

Do you know that its hard for me

When this keeps happening to us

Its killing inside of me

And I am just about to burst

There's nothing that can compare

To this its torturous

Why can't you just see my dear its clear

How much I care for us.

CHORUS (x2)

Thats all folks. see ya. :)

2011-03-01T15:14:00.001+08:00

~~~~~~~~~

2011-01-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

Oh My Goshing! How long has it been since I blogged? dammmnnnn! Its already 2011 and yeah guess what?

I AM A SPM CANDIDATE!

aaaa, I'm soooo not excited. I'm totally screwwweeedddd! Okayyy but I do not want to spoil my mood by spoiling my mood so happy maybe i don't know news. My birthday is next week and I'll be turning 17 people! 17 yes. I am older and hopefully wiser. Pleaaasseee! I'm about to get my licence soon so hooray!

I can drive to school lah. Terbaik lah! I like it lah! hahaha. That is if I pass and provided i have a car and provided I'm allowed to by the parentals. -_- so yeaaahh. Thats all. K bye xx

Maigod!

2010-11-01T21:12:00.000+08:00

Huisshhhhh! Lamerw nyerr takk bloggzzz. Titew dhhh bz dgnz tumblrz jerrrw. HAHAHAHA EEE MAIGOSSHHH SO REMPIT WAAAN! EE

Okayy. so the latest news aa? Exam habis lah wey! WOOHOO! Ohh tak, ada sivik ngn PJ, susah ohh, HAHA ELEH.
Oh oh oh! This wednesday i'll be working bitches! Me, Amin, Haider, Fareena. sume company sama. FOURSKIN BABY! EE TAK SABARNYA! All of us buat walk-in interview and terus dapat kerja. Macam tu je. Petik jari je beb! HAHA EEE. okaay I know i'm overly hyper now sbb well, I have a lot of reasons to be. HEE

1. Exam habis(excluding 2 exam bangang tu)
2. Kerja
3. Dah register licence :B
4. Dah betulkan hard disk
5. Tengah pikir. HAHA

Okay tu je so far, So konklusinya tuan tuan dan puan puan,
Saya gembira,

★

How long?

2010-10-10T19:33:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh, how long has it been since i blogged? damn. Haha. Okayy.
Latest greatest? Nothing great about the latests.
Exams are coming up. -__- That pretty much sucks. Wanna know what sucks even more?
Paramore is coming, my ultimate favourite band ever in the whole wide world is COMING! And I don't even know if I can go. Shitface.

I've known Paramore even before they were known on the radio. I absolutely love their first album which is not riot! for those who don't know.
I just need to go and watch them perform. I have to! its a must! I wanna be a billionaire, SOOO FREAKING BAD!

Hmm, other than that sad dilemma, Everything is going pretty much alright. There has been ups and downs fo'sho so that can't be avoided. All in all, just aaitee.

★

Eid! :D

2010-09-08T23:25:00.001+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI EVERYBODY! ♥

I would also like to ask for forgiveness to those whom i've wronged in the past. Whether it was intentional or accidental, i apologize.

Everybody makes mistakes and its time to start fresh again.

I've a good feeling and I feel so excited :)

Again, selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin ♥

★

Formspringg

2010-09-04T11:52:00.000+08:00

HAHA, i just read all my haters post in formspring again. Daamnnn, that was a good laughh,

I guess they really just didn't have a life then. Haha, what a pity.
Funny stuff man, funny stuff. hahaha

It all was fun

2010-09-04T11:24:00.000+08:00

Well, I can say I enjoyed last night (:

I had a buka puasa thingy at my house with all my family, aunts, neighbour cousins and uncles. I didn't eat much, i don't know why.

Why I enjoyed last night? I got to spend time with my cousins, Nana and Najwa. It's been like totally ages since I actually hanged out with them. I really miss them like crazy! The three of us went to rasta. First we hanged out with entah sape entah I don't know and after that we joined our other cousin Afiqah at coffee hut. hehe

Then I saw Haider. Said hi and all and he called and asked if he could join us. So he did. We all played Taiti(I don't know the spelling) haha. After that, amin called and told me he was going to Damansara area so I invited him over.

He came with his brother, Iqbal(Soooooo handsome!) and his friends. They all lepak-ed and after a while, I joined them. Then after that I went home. I feel good last night (:

★

p/s; Damn, it's been so long since I've been to rasta. Especially with my cousins. I kinda miss going there with them and playing cards all night long. Those were the days. ♥

Maybe I need to reevaluate things

2010-09-03T17:14:00.001+08:00

Why is it so hard to find people who won't stab you in the back? Or spread RUMORS? Or LIE? Or just simply fucking TWO-FACED?

Maan, i've tried so hard being nice to everybody and pleasing everybody, doing whatever the hell I can to help them when they need me. Practically tried every fucking thing i fucking can to fucking give them what they fucking want! Yet, still, what I got? Rumors spreaders, backstabbers, liars, two-facers. Damn, its a hard knock life.

To think, the person who I thought knew me and how i was and acted said those load of bullcraps.
No wonder I have issues with trust nowadays.
Sorry for the certain vulgarity in my language but damn you have no idea how I feel right now.
But note, I'm not referring to alotta humans, just a few.

★

p/s; My boyfriend and I have never done whatever the hell you guys think we have. For those who were dumb enough to actually think that, well, go fuck yourself. Reti haa nak tanya. Suka hati je nak sebarkan cerita bongok. I don't take crap. You wanna make up stories? Do it about yourself. Leave mine out of the picture, please.

I'm right where i belong :)

2010-09-01T22:06:00.000+08:00

YAY! Happy days are here again! :D

I've reconnected with most of my friends which i must plead guilty, abandoned, but now i'm back! There are still a few that i haven't gotten in touch with but i promise i will, once i see them.

I just feel so good and i wouldn't wanna jinx anything but things has been going quite well, i feel happier and things just seems to be falling into place. I just feel sooo good! No wonder i love wednesdays. hehe :D

I love you girls! You guys know who you are. ♥ ♥

Thats for my friends, as for my boyfriend, i am happy and proud to say that we're already in our 7th month and yes, we're still going strong apart from the misunderstandings, arguments, fights and all that load of shit, we're still together till this day and i cant ever be more happier.

We've grown a lot stronger together. Both of us realize things we never would have without each other. I'm so happy dear boyfriend is trying to understand me more and things are just getting better in general. Hopefully it'll continue. (: I love you sooo much Muhammad al-Amin bin Zainal Abidin ♥

Was bored, this is the result

2010-09-01T21:03:00.002+08:00

YES MAN I KNOW I'M VAIN

YEAH SO WHAT?

2010-08-28T17:45:00.000+08:00

What am I now?
I lost friends
I lost focus
I lost trust
I lost myself

I wanna be happy without losing those I love.
But I can't.
Now I know I have to choose
I know what decision that must be made
I just don't have the heart to make the decision
Love is holding me back.
I wanna keep it and still be happy.
I don't want to let go.

★

And when my eyes are closed i see you for what you truly are, which is uglayy!

2010-08-27T10:50:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA!

I know, random title, I took it from the movie 'she's the man'. Hehe, Okay, so i think it has been a while since i actually updated fully about me and my life. Not that anyone actually reads my blog posts. Its just self expression. Hehe.

Currently

Where am I?

I am in the car otw to my kampung in Johor Bahru. Me visiting grandmama and going to singapore! Hehe, I do miss my kampung. Usually i only go there only for raya but then this weekend is a bit of an exception. I'm currently listening to a debate between my dad and my sister about buying an iPad for my sister's fiance. Funny funny. She wants to get a loan from my dad!

What am I doing?

I am onlining in the car. I am so bored and I have a massive period pain and gosh its killing me softly. Me hurting :(

How's school?

School is normal. Its the same as always, I'm getting super super lazy to do my math and add maths work. Its so unusual for me to be that way. For add maths is not really much difference, though there is but not much. HAHA. But for math? I love math! but I haven't been completing my work. The most complete book amongst the subjects, I would have to say physics and chemistry. For physics, its impossible to not get your work done. Especially having a teacher like Cik Liang. You WILL complete your work. haha

Friends?

Friends are just great. I'm kinda missing some friend moments. Nowadays, I haven't been getting any texts from them. I shall not mention any names. They know who they are. I'm sorry if you feel offended. I just sometimes feel left out which makes me don't know how to act around them anymore. Lately i've been flying solo, either that or with my boyfriend. But i don't really mind though. I gives me time to think about my wants and needs and makes me realize about the things that needs to be done to improve myself for the better for my future.

Boyfriend?

Everything is going great with him. I've had a couple of unforgettable moments with him. Kinda mostly the things i've always dream of getting and I finally got it. And i am so happy and thankful that I got to spend those moments with him and no one else. Yeah people always say that highschool love never lasts but my mind doesn't think that way. I believe that if two people are meant to be together, it doesn't matter how early they start. Probably you all are thinking, 'Oh bullshit!' but no, you might wanna bear in mind that it could be possible. Rare but it is definitely possible. I admit, I am a sucker for love and I love how it makes me feel. If my relationship can last, then I'll make sure I'll put in as much effort as I possibly can to make it last a lifetime. All because of love. Never play with love cause it makes people do crazy things. Thats how powerful it is.

Okay, I don't know what to type anymore. haha! I guess thats probably it i guess. hehe. mucho gracias(me dunno how to spell) HAHA

★

It's the 7th!

2010-08-22T16:58:00.005+08:00

To cut to the chase, yesterday was the best day i've ever had in my entire life of having a boyfriend. hehehe :D

I'll give you the higlights of the day. hehe.

All in all, yesterday was the best anniversary a girl could ask for. (': ♥♥

HAPPY 7TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY BABY!

★

Question mark

2010-08-16T14:15:00.000+08:00

I think.

★

This or that?

2010-08-05T23:22:00.000+08:00

Say 'yes'?

Or confess

Say 'no'?

Or act like you don't know

Be cool?

Or feel like a fool

Act fine?

Or rewind

Believe?

Or be deceived

Give up?

Or stay strong

Play along?

Or move on.

★

2010-07-18T16:07:00.000+08:00

I don't know why, i just couldn't cry.

More than words

2010-07-17T20:43:00.000+08:00

What the hell is wrong with me? I miss him.

I miss him more than i could say. Literally.

I don't know what else i can do.

I miss being pretty betty and tupai tanah )':

Emotionless or too emotional?

2010-07-17T19:24:00.000+08:00

What am I feeling?

I am just simply confused

Truth be told,

2010-07-17T19:20:00.000+08:00

I can't ever be more honest.

2010-07-03T12:43:00.000+08:00

Whats mine is yours pal! :D

HEY! THATS MINE!

L.O.V.E

2010-07-03T12:36:00.000+08:00

2010-07-03T12:27:00.000+08:00

This will be me one day.

IF you push your luck too far that is. (:

2010-07-02T17:40:00.002+08:00

Look outside, its already light and the sun ran away with the night.

Overview

2010-07-02T17:30:00.000+08:00

People in this world is definitely more interested judging and making up stories about other people. No matter how old you get, majority would judge. ALL THE TIME. They don't just judge on looks. They judge on every aspects of a person From top to bottom. From out to in.

What do you get from doing all of this? Self-satisfaction? Probably. You judge other people as if you have no imperfections. Everyone isn't perfect. Deal with it. You're so insecure about your own life and haves, you'd tear anyone down just so you can feel good about yourself. You'd even betray and backstab your best mate just to feel superior.

That is just sad. Don't you think you're old enough and wise enough to think? Use your common sense. You judge people, people are just gonna do the same. I am really tired of the human species who's selfish, overly proud of themselves, boastful, heartless and just simply don't care of other people's feelings.

I am not pointing this out to anyone in particular but if you feel as if it fits you right, then please just change.
I'm not saying i don't do anything i just said or i'm perfect, no. I know i am not perfect. I know i still do bad things. I am not the nicest person on earth, i admit but i'm changing. I'm trying to change because i'm not just all talk and no action. I think i'm old enough to know what i'm supposed to do although i know i might occasionally get side-tracked due to unstable emotions but i'm doing something about it. You should too.

★

A little piece of mind

2010-06-26T22:31:00.001+08:00

I have been feeling really angry these past few days. There is always something bugging me and pissing me off. Testing my patience much? Yeah I got patience. But once you cross the line, you're done for. Note, this is for a couple of females. Both in different situations.

One, did you have to what you did in front of me purposely to make me angry? Don't think for one second I don't know your intentions. I may be blurr, sometimes nooby and lurus bendul but I know for a fact that I am not stupid. I've got brains and common sense and to be more clear, I'VE GOT EYES! I saw what you did with my two eyeballs. Can't you respect boundaries and limits? You've got brains too, don't you? If you're still a bit blurr, then let me ask you this question and you answer me. Would you like it if I did the exact same thing to you purposely knowing that you're watching? You're more possessive than I am in that part and you know it so I can bet 110% you'd be even more furious than I am so get your reality checked. Respect boundaries. You're all words but no actions. If you don't like certain things that people would do that makes you uncomfortable, don't ever do the same. You can talk the talk. Everyone knows that. But can you walk the walk? I haven't seen that yet.

Two, don't think you're so perfect! Just because you're getting married, it doesn't make you the boss of everything. Especially the boss of my life. Yes, I know I have to respect you as you're older than me but age is just a number. I deserve as much respect from you too. Just because i'm younger and i'm not allowed to talk back at you, It doesn't give you the right to take advantage of that. I'm only human. Yes, I do talk back at you but note, only if I know I'm not in fault. I have the right to voice out my opinion and thoughts and you should acknowledge it. If you raise your voice at me, I'll do the same. If you're rude to me, i'll be rude back. You always say i'm disrespectful and all but come on, you need to give respect to get it. I should have said this to you a long time ago. Telling you this now is probably useless. I've always been the one who has to change in this family but why does only have to me? Why can't you change? I asked you before, why can't you change? and you replied, "i've tried" So? that is not an excuse. You never let me used that excuse so why are you an exception? you're bullshit you know that?

I'm not talking to you. I'm not layaning you. I'm tired of your crap.

☭

chinese eye test! :O

2010-06-16T22:39:00.001+08:00

Chinese eye test

THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!

If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling
the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese. (buat mata sepet)
It works

Did you get it? hahaha! style ohh. i got this email from my mum. Damn cool! Heee :D

★

2010-06-16T20:04:00.000+08:00

Maybe I need some rehab
Or maybe just need some sleep
I got a sick obsession
I'm seein it in my dreams
I'm lookin down every alley
I'm makin those desperate calls
I'm stayin up all night hopin hitin my head against the wall

What you got boy, is hard to find
I think about it all the time
Im all strung out my heart is fried
I just cant get you off my mind!

Because your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love

Wont listen to any advice
Mommas tellin me I should think twice
But look into my own devices, im addicted its a crisis
My friends think ive gone crazy
My judgments gettin kinda hazy
My steeze is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love sick crack head

What you got boy, is hard to find
I think about it all the time
Im all strung out my heart is fried
I just cant get you off my mind!

Because your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love

I dont care what people say
The rush is worth the price I pay
I get so high when your with me
But crash and crave you when you leave

Hey, so I got a question
Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement?
Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum
Is my love your drug? your drug?
Huh, your drug?
Huh, your drug?
Is my love your drug?

Because your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love

Because your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love

Hey, heyy, sooo
You love, your love your love, is my drug
(She says) I like your beard

Your Love Is My Drug - Ke$ha

★

16th of the 6th

2010-06-16T19:56:00.000+08:00

Look outside

It's already light and the stars ran away with the night

Things we're said, words that we'll try forget,

it's so hard to admit I know we've made mistakes

I see through all the tears but that's what got us here

If love is an ocean wide

We'll swim in the tears we cry

They'll see us through to the other side

We're gonna make it

When love is a raging sea

You can hold on to me

We'll find a way tonight

Love is an ocean wide

I'll stay right here

It's where I'll always belong

Tied with your arms

Days like this, I wish the sun wouldn't set

I don't want to forget

What made us feel this way

You see through all my fears

And that's what got us here

If love is an ocean wide

We'll swim in the tears we cry
They'll see us through to the other side
We're gonna make it
When love is a raging sea
You can hold on to me
We'll find a way tonight
Love is an ocean wide

Love is an ocean wide enough to forget

Even when we think we can't

*Ocean Wide - The Afters

★

A little bit uneasy?

2010-06-07T18:52:00.000+08:00

It takes a real person who understands me to see what I truly feel. They could see through my eyes and read the thoughts i'm thinking. Though some might not be accurate, but they'll get the rough idea of it.

I slept over at Myn's house yesterday and I slept at 6 and woke up at 10. I am so tired but I had fun though. Hanging out with the girls. Yeah, I do miss loverboy like crazy but I can't do anything. So i'll just have to wait till Wednesday. Gosh! I'm so excited. hehe :D

Actually, I don't know what to blog. I do have a topic but I know people might catch on what I'm trying to say and some might even misunderstand and terasa. I'm bothered you know? But whatever. Let it be. Haihhh.

★

Breakeven (Falling to pieces)

2010-06-03T19:34:00.000+08:00

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMON

MAKE LEMONADE.

you think its that easy? no it isn't

What am i gonna do, when the best part of me was always you and

What am i supposed to say when i'm all choked up that you're okay yeah

I'm falling to pieces

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain

You took the suitcase and i took the blame

but i'm trying to make sense of what little remains

Oh but you left me with no love,

No love to my name

I'm still alive but i'm barely breathing,

Just praying to a god that I don't believe it,

Cause i got time while he got freedom

Cause when a heart breaks no it dont break even

2010-05-30T14:29:00.000+08:00

I AM JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY IN THIS WORLD!

no matter what i do. How nice i am to people. How hard i try on things. Nothing makes me good enough. Nobody is ever satisfied with what i am and who i am. I'm sorry i'm not what you want me to be. I'm sorry i'm not little miss perfect. But if you love me, you should know and learn to accept me for who i am. What? you want me to be what you want me to be? So meaning, you'll love me just because i am what you ask me to be? BULLSHIT LAH! I won't change for anyone but me. People can advise me to be a better person but its my choice isn't it? I'm not gonna change for a person. I'll only change for me.

Why can't I be accepted?

I know i am not perfect.

But why can you accept other people except for me?

Why am i an exception in this case?

I am only human.

I feel like i'm trash.

Useless trash.

I'm sorry i'm not good enough for anybody in this world.

Sue me.

out, ★

A reason

2010-05-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

Human 1 :

Give me one good reason to not be happy right now. I know you cant! :p

Human 2 :

Yes I can

Human 1 :

Phfft, prove it

Human 2 :

Maybe I will

Human 1 :

Then prove it!

Human 2 :

Oh shit I forgot

Human 1 :

Excuses!

*argue like losers*

Human 3 :

Okay I'll give you the reasons! I'll give you two!

one, exams aren't over yet

two, both of you.

Now shut it, i'm tryna study.

Human 1 and 2 :

okay.

Sorry, I know its not funny and it doesn't make sense but I was bored. HAHA

2010-05-28T22:05:00.001+08:00

I miss :

♥ My childhood that I don't really remember

♥ My grandma, Tok Mak

♥ My cousins at Johor

♥ Primary school

♥ Dancing

♥ Performing at charity events

♥ Performing in general

♥ Tap dancing

♥ Uncle Yai )':

♥ Hanging out with my sisters

♥ Flora damansara
♥ Songwriting

♥ You

2010-05-28T21:55:00.000+08:00

Today I feel :
- Touched
- Awwed
- Tired
- Hungry
- Dizzy
- Sneezy
- Sleepy
- Hungry
- Loved
- Cared

etc......

2010-05-25T20:05:00.001+08:00

EXAMINATION

why must you exist?

So far,

BM = Fail

Accounts = Fail

Physics = Fail

Chemistry = Fail

Add Maths = Double Fail!

And the rest? Well, i'm guessing also Fail!

I'm such a failure. I study my effing arse off but yet, I'm still a failure. Damnit! -_-

2010-05-04T19:43:00.000+08:00

Whoaaa, How long has it been since i blogged? Shizzz, a long time maan. Okayy, whats happening so far. Hmm, Practically nothing new. Nah, i'm lying. Haha. Obviously there are new things but most of them I just have to keep it to myself. Ngehee :p Btw, don't ask! I won't say. Haha.

Everything has been going quite well. I understand the current add maths topic. hehe. I feel smart but I really hate the first 3 chapters of it. I understand nothing. haha. I think i'm gonna do some exercise after this. I really need to improve myself for the better.

Exams are in 2 weeks. Fcckkk. The worst part is, the paper will be in FULL FORMAT. Like you know, SPM format so i'll confirm fail! Especially sejarah. Oh gosh, and also Add Maths. aiyayai. I've to study. I think i'm gonna start going to the library. Anyone wants to tag along aswell, by all means, please do. Hehe.

Friends are great. Last week on wednesday, a bunch of us hanged out at Fareena's house and all of us went to the park to play and all. hehe. I had a blast. Then when we all went back to Far's place, we all sang while Danial played the guitar. It was definitely an 'AWWWW' moment. heee :D I felt like we're all a family living in the same house. Heee :D

Boyfriend? well, what else can I say. So far so great. hehe. He's just the best. No one can make me feel the way I do other than him. He is so far the only one who makes me feel extra love. I'm not being perasan but I really feel like he really does love me. I know he isn't joking around or fooling around this time and I'm thankful. Yes, when we fight is the worst thing ever but that's how relationships are.We're bound to fight. But we gotta make it through together (: hee

Kay i think thats the only update of my life so far. haha. Skaadusshh

out, ★

Tribal Escapade III

2010-04-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

Woooh! I am T.I.R.E.D. My family, The Shamsuddins had our annual Family Day starting on Saturday. I left home at like almost 10 i think. HAHA. Reached there before noon. Pheww! (: Then there was registration and all of us helped out and all. I played with my adorable and squeezable nephews. Oh especially ADAMMMMM! That little 2 or 3 year old little rascal is supeeerbb cute! geraaam. haha.

After that, we ate lunch and there was like a brief briefing. haha. get it? brief briefing? HAHA. Okay lame. Anyway, then we went up to our rooms and changed into our team colour shirts. I'm in blue team btw! :D Me, nana and najwa then rested in our room and caught up with each others life. awww hehe ♥

Then group discussions! We had to design our team banner and create our team warcry. Blue team was called 'BLUE SHARK BITES'. Green was 'THE INCREDIBLE HULK'. Red was 'RED ANTS' (lame! :p). Yellow was 'LEAN MEAN YELLOW MACHINE'. My team's warcry sucked but our banner was da bomb! :D

After we've done our warcries and all, we had a telematch event. Oh my gosh it was hilarious. It was fun. I enjoyed that part. Blue team won the overall telematch! Ngee ;D Awesome right? I know! hahaha

Then we went back to our rooms and bathed and got ready for dinner. Me, nana and najwa performed so we had to wear dresses. haha. After dah get ready, we ate, watched the AV presentation, listen to Big Chief make jokes then we performed. And my family, The Arabee's made a special surprise performance too! We made a tribute to Michael Jackson dance. My dad, haish, I really cant explain. You'd have to watch it. It was so FUNNY AND CRAZILY KELAKAR GILA! HAHA. So then finito.

Today we had the prize giving ceremony and Yellow team won first, Green second, Blue third(thanks to our lame warcry -_- haha) and red got last. haha. And dah thats it. hehe. I had fun. ♥♥♥

out, ★

2010-04-15T17:37:00.000+08:00

Whoaa, how long has it been(for me) since I updated my blog? Haha. I've been busy like a bee this past few weeks. Okay, I've not much to update anyway though just that my dad bought me a new guitar. Heee. I love it! :D Thanks Abah and Umi! ♥♥

Other than that, school is basically just school. Homeworks. Teachers. Friends. Boyfriend. So yeah. Haha. There have been complications regarding my relationship with loverboy. It's nothing that either of us did to each other. Just a lot of accusations that makes both of us be in a bad mood and upset. I shall not go any further. This is between me and him. Oh! And next Wednesday is our 3rd month anniversary. Hee :D Okay I know it's just the 3rd month but so what? I'm happy that we could make this far together. Hehe. Okay, I know this will sound so totally jiwang karat nak mampus but I don't care! I love him love him love him soooo much! Only those who are close to me knows how much. They've seen how I am last year, they saw how crazy I got over him. Now, this year, I finally got him and i'm just so thankful. Gosh i miss him. I miss laughing and hanging out with him. I miss him annoying me, i miss his laugh. Hehe. Ohh goshh, I know what you're thinking, "this girl is freaking obsessed over her own boyfriend". SO WHAT?! let me be. What girl isn't obsessed over their boyfriend? There are some girls that aren't but apparently, i don't belong to that bunch. I'm happy with who i'm with and i don't plan to let him go unless there is a reasonable reason for me to do so. Otherwise, no way. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be there for him as long as I possibly can. (:

BAPAK JIWANG SIAL AKU HARI NI!

WHOTS THA FUCK? HAHAHAHAHAHA

out, ★

Third times the charm ;D

2010-04-08T01:19:00.000+08:00

Okay, bowling is donee. Woooh! Okayy. I did way better on the third day than the first two days. I'm proud that I made it this far even though i'm an amateur. I'm happy. hee.

I really miss my friends and Amin like so so much! ): It's been like what, a week? Shizz. I really can't wait to see them on friday. That is if i'm going to school though. But I most probably am. Ngee. Okay. There's not really that much to update so imma go now. hehe. see ya! Skaadushh.

out, ★

2010-04-06T11:03:00.000+08:00

hey ya'll, yesterday's game didn't go that well. I know I could do so much better but it was like 6 games. Tiring y'know. I'm gonna try and do much better today. I don't want to disappoint anybody. I don't wanna be the weak link in the team. I'm gonna prove to them that a girl who doesn't have her own bowling ball can do it! :D

Oh yeah! btw, if anybody wants to come and support me tomorrow, lemme know yeah? But if you want to follow, ask your parents because you might be home at 8 or 9. hee. Alright, i'll update more later when I get back. skaadushh.

out, ★

MSSS Selangor :O

2010-04-05T11:11:00.000+08:00

Dayumn! Today is the day! Today is the bowling tournament. Shizz. I'm super nervous yet super excited! :D I wish my friends could be there with me to support me. Gosh i'm so scared!
I didn't go to school. One, because i'm not allowed to. Two, because the person want us to rest. I really want to go to school! Study study. Haha. I'm feeling hardworking okay! haha

Oh yeah! OMG! i went shopping yesterday and i bought 6 items. ngeeee. :D bangga gila. haha. But i want to shop some more but i ain't got no more money. hahaha. ): Never mind. I've to chill first. hehe.
Btw, My sisters and I are having a garage sale this Saturday at Section 7, Kelana Jaya. Come! Come! The prices are between RM5 till RM20. hee! :D Anything you can contact me through facebook. (:

out, ★

Confessions of a 'Once i start i'm a shoppaholic'

2010-04-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

I'm in the mood to shop!

Okay, I went to ou with Moon yesterday. The plan was to accompany her to shop for work clothes and use the shopping voucher created by my sisters as my birthday present. So I wen't to cotton on and picked out lotsa stuff but her share was only a 100 bucks so i asked for a jacket from her. Then I saw these adorable shoes that only had one pair left so i grabbed it and reserved it. Hehe. Then my parents came and I asked Umi if she could pay for it because she also had a share in the shopping voucher. Her part was 150 so I asked for the shoe and some tops from forever 21. hehe, But i tell you, it's so not enough. I don't really shop that much but once I start, i just wanna continue and continue. Haha. I'm going to ou with Nuff tomorrow to shop some more. Hehe. I'm such a girl. :P

out, ★

Whats Next?

2010-04-03T12:21:00.001+08:00

Hello world! I'm bored. Today is a Saturday and I have no plans whatsoever and yeah I just woke up. Haha :P I really wanna go somewhere. OH! I think I wanna go shopping today but I don't wanna go alone though. So sad wann, ): Hmm, I'll see what happens. If my arm wasn't sore and if only i wasn't super tired yesterday, I may already be at camp today but well, I have to rest. Tournament is in two days! Shizz! I'm scared. I'm like the amateur-ess person there. Kay syaq! you can do it! :D

Okay, I really am super bored. I could really go crazy like this! GRRR. -.-
I think I'm gonna go find something to eat. See yaa, Skaadushh. ;D

out,★

2010-04-02T15:14:00.000+08:00

I don't know why i'm like so totally not in the mood right now. Probably stress because my bowling tournament is next week and I haven't been doing well during the training sessions and my family aren't helping making me feel better. Instead they criticize me and tell me to do this and do that. I know what I should do already, it's just that the pressure of the competition being so near is making me lose focus. At this point i just need the loved ones to be here for me and tell me "its okay, just do your best and you'll be great. We'll still love you no matter what." I just need them to say that )':

I can't help but break down and cry right now. There are also another thing causing me to be in a bad mood right now but I can't do anything about it. I just hope he understands that I really need him right now to calm me down and support me. If he's in a bad mood, i'll also be in a bad mood. Especially not knowing why he's in a bad mood drives me crazy but I can't deal with that right now. I need to focus on the tournament so i'm so hoping he can be the person to liven my days during the tournament so I can feel happy hence, focus but that would be too much too ask from one person. I don't want to be demanding. I don't wanna force him to do what I ask him to. Just that his happy mood and happy company is just enough for me right now.

out, ★

Eenie Meenie Minie Mo Lover

2010-03-31T20:31:00.000+08:00

Today was great. Everything went just great until 6.30+ but i won't say what happen then.
Today I had school of course. It wasn't boring. I had fun! Then after school I waited for amin as usual and walked with him and aizat to the school main gate. Then we waited for aizat to get changed. At first, the plan was that amin and I was supposed to go to ou and watch a movie with azroy but then he, aizat and haider ended up in my house. They hung out there while i printed out lyrics for the jamming session. We had alotta laughs and we waited for syaza to come to my house cause she wanted to eat and then we were off to Akakarya :D

We saw danial, fareena and nadiah was already there so then we hung out for a bit then we went in studio 2 and jammed till we can't no more. Haha. I sang till I lost my voice! Then amin and I walked back to school and we met Fatim so we lepaked together then I went home feeling sad and then I ate and now i'm here. Tadaaa.

I've bowling training tomorrow and Friday. The tournament is next week from Monday - Thursday so I won't be coming to school for that long )': Imma miss my friends and amin fo'sho so so much. I'm pretty nervous about tomorrow though it's just training. Its just that its the fact i'll probably be the only one using the house ball and house shoes. So cam yeah :\
Oh well, wish me luck anyways! Okay thats it.

Go
One Hour Later! ♥

out, ★

Luck of the Syaq

2010-03-25T17:06:00.000+08:00

Whooh! Okay, Today was super tiring and super fun! :D I felt good the whole day oh yeah. haha :D First, I went to school like normal. I brought my books for before recess only because after recess I had bowling competition. So I went to Sunway Pyramid with Encik Ishak and then played bowling. This tournament is like to choose who will be representing Petaling Utama. Each of us played 4 games. Gosh, it was fun but yet scary and my heart was beating so fast because I was super nervous. ngahaa :P

Then when the game ended, We had to wait for the results. Only 4 people in each category will be chosen and guess what! I'm one of them. HEHEHEH. I'm representing Petaling Utama with 3 other girls. Hehe, it was shocking for me because the others all had their own bowling ball, shoes and gears and such and I had nothing. I used the house ball and shoes. I had no technique whatsoever. I played like normal but I got in. I'm sooooo happy and uber excited because I've never represented daerah before. Ever! Haha. Alhamdulillah.

Now, i just got back from jasema. I went to OU before that to buy new track pants. Needed extra. Haha. Okay, thats all, I wanna go rest now. My arms are becoming sore. hehe. See ya! Skaadushh. :P

out, ★

2010-03-24T23:56:00.000+08:00

In everyone's life, there are similar parts but different stories,

There is surely a part of your life where you find it too good to be true,

In my life i may add, that particular part, i call it you.

I love you.

Scream until you say "Oh no!"

2010-03-24T00:16:00.001+08:00

Paramdumdum! Hello, today was a really good day for me. Weird though but a good weird. I really love today because mainly, We didn't study the WHOLE day. Literally. Haha. Most of the teachers who came in class are relief teachers so they didn't teach. After assembly, suddenly Pn. Anne stopped me and asked me to join in the debate's training session. Haha. I was like "whaaaaaaaat?" Shizz. I didn't know my name was on the list. So okay, I'm joining debate.

Then after school, i was supposed to go to german class but I felt lazy and Amin told me yesterday that he was going to bowling club. So i wanted to follow because I really love bowling. Hehe its fun! :D So I stayed at school. At first, Syaza was there then she went back, leaving me the only girl. There was Amin, Aidil, Aizat, Fahmi and Aziz at the canteen waiting for Encik Ishak.
Then when Encik Ishak came, Aziz went back home so the five of us got into Encik Ishak's car and we were off to Cineleisure. At first, the plan was for me, Aidil and Fahmi to just sit and watch while Amin and Aizat played but then Cikgu asked us if we wanted to play. So we did. Haha. We played 3 games and during the 2nd game, Encik Ishak asked me if I wanted to go represent the school bowling team for girls. Again like my debate expression, i was like "whaaaaaaat?" HAHA. I was really surprised yet excited because I might be representing the school's bowling team, Hehe. :P

After bowling, all of us went and bought ice cream, courtesy of Zain. Thanks! hehe. Then we just hanged around while waiting for Cikgu to come back and pick us up. The boys made me laugh like crazy until tears came down my eyes. Haha. It was funny and fun. Then we went back to school and only there was only me and Amin left. The rest went back. So we hung out in the canteen and saying random and stupid things. But its fun. hehe ♥ :P Then soon, my dad came and I went back. I helped mum cook and bathed, eat, and now here I am doing some english project stuffs. So yeah. Thats it. haha. See ya! Skaadushh

out, ★

2010-03-21T22:10:00.000+08:00

Today is a special day ♥
I'll love you till the end

2010-03-17T14:56:00.001+08:00

Yo all formspring haters! If you guys hate me sooooo much lah kan, come, lets meet! So you can share all your hatred with me. Come lah!
You guys wanna hate me soo much as if i disturbed your life. You guys calling me a loser, pathetic and such but actually, you are the pathetic one. Giving stupid and unreasonable remarks about me and my life as if i've ever disturbed yours. Dont you have something better to do? Tak ada life ke until you wanna try and bring down mine? One word. LAME!
No matter what you say, It will not make any difference. It will not change me. Because nobody can make a fool out of something i'm not. So yeah, kutuk lah. Tak ada guna.

And if it's about me fainting on sports day, OH MY GOD lah, how many times do I have to say that I did not fucking fake it! Here's all my medicine and medical certificates!

There! I would put a picture of the mark i had on my hand because of the drip but unfortunately, the mark is no longer there.
Sooo, if this doesn't make you shut the fuck up then i don't know what will. Aren't you guys tired of posting hate remarks? I dah muak tengok. Bukannya sakit hati or what. I menyampah. Seeing people having nothing better to do than to judge. It's sad. Real sad.
Actually, I pity all of you. You guys can't find any other way to make yourself feel better so you guys used me as a point so you guys can kutuk and hence, feel satisfied. You guys are pathetic. Hating me isn't going to prove a point and ain't gonna make you go anywhere. So use the brain that god gave you and think of what hating me does to you guys and how does it not benefit you in any way.

out, ★

When I was younger I saw

2010-03-15T16:10:00.000+08:00

Gosh, it's been a while since i blogged. Been very busy with exams! I think i failed two subjects already so yeah i'm screwed. But whatever lah. What better way to improve then to learn from your mistakes right? :D
I actually have nothing to blog about. haha. Just that i've been spending my time watching gossip girl and yeah thats it. Holidays are kinda boring. don't know what to do. :\
Okay, thats it lah. Skaadushh. (:

out, ★

2010-03-07T14:03:00.001+08:00

Oh noo, exam exam has come. Need to study like all the time. Shizz, lazyness! -__-
No syaq! snap out of it! You've got to focus. Make parents, sisters and yourself proud :)
I'm gonna try and do the best I can for this year and next year. Studies are my main priority right now. The others can wait. I'm tired of getting nagged at for not studying and I can't bear to look at my dad's face every time he gets my results slip. I won't disappoint him again. I'll do the best I can to not fail him. I've gotten so much but I've never given him what he wanted. Its time to repay him with good grades! :D
I know I'm smart, everyone is. I'm just SUPER lazy and EASILY distracted. Haha. I've got to resist temptation.
Ohh, that will be hard but I'll try. (Y)

Now, I feel good and pumped up to study but, it has to wait until I return from lunch. I'm going out with ray after this. hehe :) And somehow, I've become less pessimistic about my life and everything around it. I'm feeling more and more happier and I don't know why. Call me crazy but I'm happy (: Okay, thats all.

out, ★

2010-03-06T01:06:00.000+08:00

Lately i've been messing around with photoshop and I made certain* photos look horrendously hideous. Haha. Made my whole day. HAHA, I would post it if I could but I don't have the guts. Hehe,
But other than making certain* photos look hideous, I made some look surprisingly awesome. If I have to say so myself. All the effects, I learn from YouTube. hehe big thanks (Y) :D
Oh! And while I was on YouTube, I found this music video a lady gaga and beyonce fan made of their song 'Telephone'. HAHA. Seriously gay gay gay. Here's the link if you want to watch it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t-H43PcgFs

Lately I've been talking with Moon about my life and problems I'm facing and she's been helping me a lot and making me realize things I already do but never do anything about. I'm learning that I'm okay and I'll be fine and I'll definitely survive. This problem isn't gonna bring me down anymore. I'm strong and I'll leave it to god to do whatever that needs to be done. As long as I've done my part. I've also felt more closer to her than ever and I appreciate her more now.
My friend, Dano has also been a great friend. Checking up on me from time to time. Seeing if i'm okay or not. Also helping me with my problems. I really appreciate that he cares and is there for me. Thanks a lot!
I feel better and know better now, but I still cry though. Every time, I think, "How could they?" The answer to that still remains unknown to me. All i know is that, that has 'heartless' written all over it.
Well screw that. I've more important things to worry about. They can never make a fool out of something i'm not.

out, ★

Shout Out!

2010-03-06T00:40:00.000+08:00

Scratch some parts of my last post

I don't wanna need a person if I know for a fact that, that person doesn't except me for who I am, trusts me, be there for me in my time of need. You're not called a friend without it.

A friend shouldn't be based on what YOU want them to be. If you honestly wanted to be there friend, you wouldn't care. But since you do, then why bother right? I just don't understand why do you waste your own time making up and creating new yet similar ways to bring a person down when you only just don't like one side of a person.

You're just saying all those things to make you feel good about yourself. By tearing a person down, you feel superior, powerful and great. You want to feel that feeling and you'd do whatever to get it. Even if effects another person. That's self insecurity.

If you want a friend to honestly and sincerely be your friend for who you are then you should start by doing the same. Karma, what goes around comes around. You need to give respect to get it.

I bet one thousand percent, if you're in a group/clique, most of you would bitch bad things about one or more than one person to another and tells that person to keep it a secret and then another person does the same and the cycle goes on and on. Don't you guys have better things to do? Get a life. Why revolve your life around stupid things?

Yes, high school is full of drama's. Everyone goes through it whether you like it or not but we all go through it but you don't have to add drama to something that doesn't even have a drama to start with. You just want a little action so you can feel cool and awesome because you're disempowering other people. Nak 'up' lah katakan. -_____-

p/s ; this post is merely based on general things. Nothing to do with my life. (probably the first two sentence, yeah but the rest no.) This goes out to everyone in general.

out, ★

2010-03-02T13:20:00.000+08:00

I just got back from the hospital a couple of hours ago. I had to get water dripped inside me because I was still dehydrated. Really did not enjoy it. :\ Thank goodness i don't have to be admitted but my dad said that if I'm not feeling better then i'll have no choice but to do so. I'm scared, i've never been in a hospital before. Right now, honestly speaking, I really need my friends but none of them are there because none of them believe me. )':
My sisters aren't here for me either because they're all busy with there own agenda.
I've only got my parents for now. I guess thats good enough. To my friends, I'm really sorry for what i did to make you guys think so bad of me. But i really need you guys right now. I rarely ask for anything from you guys. Probably little things but not major things.
I just need my friends by side right now, is it too much to ask? I'm honestly not well. But then again, it's up to you if you wanna believe me or not. I just hope you do.

2010-02-27T19:57:00.001+08:00

I don't understand why people are just so judgemental. So much for changing lah kan.

BULLSHIT!

You don't know shit of what i'm going through. Saying i'm a drama queen. Thinking i'm trying to catch attention. I've got better things to do than to seek attention lah. Yeah, i might do seek attention sometimes but I would never, i repeat, never fake something serious just to get attention. That's just wrong. And who the hell are you to bitch about me suddenly and making your own conclusions. Don't you have a brain to think or a heart to care what's going on with me first? Tak kan? Thats what you call heartless. Suka hati je nak talk crap and laugh about it. But whatever, asalkan korang bahagia lah. I know the truth and whether or not you wanna believe it, its up to you. I don't have to prove no single shizz to anyone else. You'll pay the price, I know you believe in karma. And i know karma will definitely catch up with your actions. Serves you right!

out, ★

Jantan Tersayang / Loverboy ♥

2010-02-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

You'd do the littlest yet sweetest things that make me go awwh (':

Like just now, You called me just to let me know that you'll be at the asrama till late and to say sorry that you can't text me tonight. :'D

That is why I Love You to bits! ♥

out, ★

When i like something, i take a picture of it to make it last longer.

2010-02-22T19:29:00.001+08:00

This is the face of a person who is sick. Haha! I took this an hour ago, i think. Haha. Excuse my face. I just like my hair at the time. Hehe. :p Well thats pretty much it. Haha. See ya! Skaadushh

Out, ★

Oh happy day

2010-02-22T16:08:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my one month anniversary with Amin, yeah I know what you're thinking, baru one month nak kecoh. But who cares. I'm happy. Everyday I'm still with him is an accomplishment. For some of you, you may not understand why I say its an accomplishment. Others should. So yeah. Please don't judge me, (:

Overall, I had fun yesterday. I shouldn't have to explain why here. hehe :D Just know that I did despite me being kind of sick. Gosh. now today, I feel sicker than ever. I couldn't wake up for school. I woke up like really woke up at 3. -_- And i'm super hungry but my throat is killing me so I can't swallow. Like shizz y'know. Urgghh

My sports day is this thursday, I'm sick, I heard that we've not started with the second formation for marching, Tomorrow is the rehearsal, conclusion is, We're screwed.

out, ★

formspring.me

2010-02-21T21:08:00.001+08:00

Bring it, suckaa! http://formspring.me/syakiraharabee

formspring.me

2010-02-19T18:41:00.001+08:00

Bring it! :) http://formspring.me/syakiraharabee

2010-02-19T12:55:00.000+08:00

My name is Khan, And I am NOT a terrorist

Hey there, Yesterday, I went out to celebrate Syaza's Sweet Sixteen Birthday at Curve with the girls in the morning till 4 like that and the guys came afterwards. Us girls went karaoke and we all went crayzay baby! wooh! hahaha. Everyone looked superhot! :D

Then when the dudes came, we wallked around and all and took pictures. Camwhore gila babi because Aizat brought his DSLR so apa lagi en. Picture picture! haha. We also went bowling. That was the funniest and funnest part. Haha, you should've seen everyone. Especially Fareena. Macam nak jatuh. hahaha.

Then we all went to Mcd and makaaan. Then balikk.

Hope you had a great birthday Syaza! hee i laf youu. :D

Afterwards, I met up with my sister and her boyfriend. We wanted to watch a movie at 9 but last last we watched at 11.20 -___- Because we hanged out with her boyfriends family which is papa, yik, farady and baby. So yeahh. lepak lepak and all. Then all of us excluding papa and farady watched 'My name is Khan'

Two thumbs up to the movie. (Y) I reeeeealllly enjoyed it. I wanted to sleep for half an hour tapi tak jadi because the movie cam best. hahaha. Yesterday was fun altogether. ♥

out, ★

When I'm bored, I take things aimlessly

2010-02-15T21:59:00.000+08:00

This is what you get when you put your iphone laying around the house and me using it without parental supervision. HAHA

I really want an iphone. Time to save up some cashhh.

★

2010-02-15T00:03:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year / Valentines Day!

Today was simply awesome. hehe. Went out with loverboy today. Not to celebrate valentines day. We just wanted to go out. hehe. He came at like about 12 pm like that and I arrived at ou at 12.35 pm, I think. Haha. I'm sorry! hehe. Anyways, we walked around and all and we decided to watch a movie. We weren't sure of what movie to watch. It was either Percy Jackson or Valentines Day but we decided to watch Percy Jackson because V Day starts late so yeah.

It was fun. I can say thumbs up to the movie (Y). Reaaaally funny. I enjoyed it. (: Then we walked around and makaaan, then walked around some more until we were so tired of walking, we decided to watch another movie. Haha, we watched wolfman. Tak best! I understand no shizz of what the movie is about. Dah lah the werewolf tak style langsung. Ish. But nevermind. Then after the movie, we hung out at this garden place. I have no idea how to describe it tapi best lah. Haha.

He carried me! Like 'sweeping-of-my-feet' type of carrying. Hehe, and he said I wasn't heavy -___- Unbelievable. But kinda awwwh. hehehe :p Then after like an hour or two like that, he went home and so did I and I went to Bgbill's crib and played Uno. wohoo! Haha. Kay thats all. Overall, I love today. I'm happy and surprised that I'm not miserable on Valentines Day. Hehe. Thanks to my mat rempit. HAHA ♥

out, ★

formspring.me

2010-02-13T20:31:00.001+08:00

Give it to me :) http://formspring.me/syakiraharabee

2010-02-13T15:38:00.000+08:00

I miss my girlies )':

Lets have a girls day out! :D

I'm gonna give them a message later. hehe

★

formspring.me

2010-02-12T22:00:00.001+08:00

Give it to me :) http://formspring.me/syakiraharabee

2010-02-12T21:21:00.000+08:00

I feel like crying. Not because i'm sad. But tears of terguris hati. HAHA. I feel touched. I shall not elaborate any further. This is as far as i'll share. hehe. Skaadushh

out, ★

2010-02-12T21:02:00.000+08:00

Oh you'd do the most sweetest yet cutest little things that makes me go awwh ♥

I LOVE YOU AMIN

★

formspring.me

2010-02-12T20:18:00.001+08:00

Give it to me :) http://formspring.me/syakiraharabee

one wrong step

2010-02-11T19:15:00.000+08:00

Guess what happened today at school, I had long jump during a chemistry experiment )': So so saddd. I didn't win because I felt like there was pain at my feet. The place where my ligament was torn in 2007. So i couldn't walk. -_- I practically sat in front of the boys toilet for like an hour like that. At first shaleea came and helped :O
Then danial kordy, izani, barnett came and helped me to the side so i didn't look like a total idiot in the middle of the whole place. I asked adira to get me food because I was there even during recess. But Fatim came with my food instead. Then she went back to the canteen to eat and I was with shaleea. Then Amin came and recess was over. Soon after, all the jantans that are always refilling water came and like kecoh satu dunia. Haha. Then, la la la, syaza, fatimah, amin and aizat helped me up and carried me to the pejabat. Sorry guys, i know i'm heavy. Haha :P Then they all teman me until my daddy came. Then I went straight to the hospital and I got an x-ray. The doctor said there's nothing to worry about. Just rest and put some gel or something and wrap my feet with a bandage. Soo yeah. Thats it. Haha. What a day. I bet Syaza and Fatimah grew muscles carrying me. Haha. Again, thanks a lot guys for helping me. Lovess! ♥

out, ★

2010-02-08T20:06:00.003+08:00

hehehehe. http://www.formspring.me/syakiraharabee

ASK ME ANYTHING. *winkwink*

2010-02-08T08:47:00.000+08:00

Hehe, I didn't go to school today. I didn't wake up because I slept late. hee :P
Okay, I just opened my facebook and I realised he* put my name on his status :O Wowww. Didn't think he'd do something like that. But i'm touched that he did. (':

I love you 21st January, 2010 ♥

2010-02-07T21:21:00.000+08:00

I just came back from my niece and nephew's birthday party which is so serabot nation. All I did was eat, drink and talk. Nothing much. I had a conversation with shahirah, my niece who's in form one! They grow up so fast. Haha. Theenn, I told kak udeen, my cousin, that I still couldn't believe that Izran, her son, is already form one. Time flies, then she told me he still calls me aunty baby. Awwwh! :') I feel so touched. hehe. I like being called aunty baby because only 3 of my nephews calls me that. Izran, Ariff and Zayn. I'm very close to them and i never want them to stop calling me aunty baby and i never want them to call anyone else aunty baby. Its my title! HAH. hahahha kidding :p
okay thats it. haha skaadushh

out, ★

2010-02-07T12:24:00.000+08:00

6th February, 2010 ♥

A day to remember.

Need I say more?

out, ★

2010-02-05T14:58:00.001+08:00

What has 2010 done to all of us?

Syakirah

school life : stressed

friendship : up and down

relationship : no problems

family : fine

generally : I can go crazy

2010, great?

2010-02-05T14:43:00.000+08:00

I don't know why but i'm beginning to feel even more stressed as the days pass. I'm really starting to not like school life in form 4. I broke down in class twice already and it's only like what? the second month of the year? I wonder how will i survive the whole of form 4. I really hate my add maths teacher. I've had pretty sucky teachers but i've never really hated them as much as i hate my add maths teacher. She indirectly called the malays in my class stupid. wtff? We're not stupid! We're trying our hardest to understand the shit you're teaching! Goshh.

I'm growing apart from my friends. I don't know why. It just happens. Probably it's because of the class difference and maybe its just me. I'm pretty busy with everything like studies, homework, family stuff, personal stuff. I don't have much time for my friends even though i try my hardest to balance everything. Its hard and i'd need to take some time for myself to work it out.

I'm sorry to shahira, nadiah and syaza for screaming at you guys yesterday. I was really angry and i wasn't in the mood and i know you guys wanted to check up on me but i guess you guys caught me at a really wrong time and you* should've came to me and asked me in a not annoying way and a not annoying tone of voice. That made me lose my temper. But i'm sorry still. I'm just so stressed.

I have a lot on my mind. I need to be with myself and my boyfriend. And don't get me wrong, I'm not putting my boyfriend first. Its just that the comfort you get from a friend and a boyfriend is different. I just need that sort of comforting right now. Don't take this the wrong way.

(you* points out to a particular person)

out, ★

It was nice :)

2010-02-01T17:24:00.000+08:00

Despite an unfortunate loss on Saturday, The day went simply great. I wen't out with loverboy and his siblings. Freaaaky. I was so scared and nervous. Haha. We went to KL and walked around there. Nothing much to be said actually. I'd have to actually show actions. HAHA. Anywho, we went to Times Square and he asked his sister to get a balloon that says "love you" on it. HEEE :P i think he asked her sister. I'm not sure. haha.

I can't tell you what happen next. Hehehe. AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! HAHA. Just to make it clear, nothing happened that day :) I love it because of the littlest of things that happened :D

out, ★

Looks like you get stuck with the cheque

2010-01-29T19:30:00.000+08:00

Heyy, I am at home right now. I went to Mcd to meet the guys for green house practice but then it rained -_- soo then we were stuck in Mcd and we ended up playing truth or dare instead. Hehe. Damnn funny. haha. I can't say. Its between the table only. haha. Then thats it. I'm here and now i'm gonna watch Sydney White :)
Skaadushh!

out, ★

So whats the point in all of this?

2010-01-28T16:27:00.001+08:00

Hello, I had public speaking today so I didn't study at all. Haha. I'm so tired right now but my sister wouldn't let me sleep. Grrrr! She wants me to help her clean our room. haha. I know, i'm lazy. wooh. Haha
Gosh i wish i didn't have school tomorrow. Can I just skip it and continue as if tomorrow is Saturday? Pleasse! I'm so excited for Saturday. ngehee :p It would be like probably the first time I'm going out with well, you know who. Need I say it. hehe. So yeah. He wants to watch legion. I wanna watch Fame! haha. But legion pun legion lah. Haha. Just hope that nothing goes wrong. *fingerscrossed* hehe :)
Thats all. haha. Danke Schön :)

out, ★

2010-01-27T21:22:00.001+08:00

Ustaz wanted to take a picture with us. HAHA. (click for better view)

Okay, today i was totally in a bad bad mood. I was super stressed out because i've got like, debate, kp stuff, public speaking, homework, green house, family problems and personal problems. I really needed someone who i can share and can just listen and say "everything will be okay" even though i know it isn't true. But its just to make me feel better at the time. I broke down and cried in class today. It was too much and one girl can't handle too much at a time. So i broke down but after a while, i felt better but i was still in a bad mood until i got home. Now i'm fine. Still stressed but not as much as before. Alhamdulillah :)

Okay now, i've got to practice for the public speaking. Goshh I'm nervous :\

out, ★

This is what I like :)

2010-01-26T17:40:00.001+08:00

Wooh, today was tiring! Studied a bit in school and then after school i had german class. I went with haider and then we learned german grammar :D Imagine, in the german language, every noun must have a gender. haha. Craaazy. Oh and we learnt how to spell just now. hehe :) I am very very busy this week. Homeworks, duties, public speaking, debate tomorrow, Carta Organisasi for KP, Dads birthday, Rumah hijau. I can go crazy like this. I need my loverboy. ):

Anyways, I've been getting massive tummy aches nowadays and I can't figure out why. I eat. So it can't be gastric. I'm not having my period. OH! maybe i'm gonna get my period soon. I've been feeling mad and angry lately if i'm on my own. Maybe, maybe. haha. Okay. So far, thats all i have to say. Ich liebe dich :)

out, ★

2010-01-25T17:33:00.000+08:00

I am finally finished with my public speaking text. Now, all i have to do is just add the speech part. Wooh. Suddenly I feel excited to present what I have. hehe :p Other than that, i'm not feeling that good today. I woke up in the middle of the night at 3 yesterday because I had a major major tummy ache and I couldn't sleep. I'm having the same thing right now even. Gosh. It hurts )': But i've got to be strong. I can't just layan the feeling. It'll attack more that way.

Anyways, I'm gonna go do my homeworks now, I've got tons :/ Skaadushh.

out, ★

"Pak cik, and all the pak cik. This boy. Sabotage. Disposal. Eh eh proposal!"

2010-01-24T08:55:00.001+08:00

Baby are you down down down down down. Haha, okay that was random. hehe. Okay, yesterday I had school -_- I didn't want to go but i have to because i had add maths and i don't understand shizz so i force myself to go. Nak belajar punya pasal kan (hee :P) Anyways, only 13 people came and Adira didn't come so Acap sat next to me. And during recess, me and acap went to the library just for fun. haha. We only studied add maths, a bit of english, and BM. We didn't learn maths or accounts. -_-

Anyways, after school, while waiting for my family to come and pick me up, i hung out with Amin for a while. Then amin went to Aizat's house and i went home. Adding all the singgah's and all, I reached home at like 4 and my sister asked me to get ready by 7.30 because my sisters boyfriend's family invited us to have dinner together. Big day big day. My sister was nervous and so was her boyfriend. haha.

Nuff and I didn't stay long because we had a movie at 10.30. So we left at 10 and reached there at 10.40. HAHA. We were latee. And it was raining heavily -_- sucks okay! serabot nation! Once we arrived at cineleisure, i saw yik and bgbill at the snack bar so we went there. As soon as we've got all the food, we went up to enter the cinema. But before going up the stairs, I saw amin. haha. He was there too! With his siblings. (: But i couldn't talk much cause i was super late. haha

We watched Adnan Sempit. HAHA. Damnn funny. I recommend this movie to you guys. You must must must watch it. I couldn't stop laughing. Funny funny funny. hehe. Then dah habis, we lepak at al-safa and we met farady, aredeq and job. I was already sleepy but i had to follow kan. After they're done with whatevers, we went back home. Lalala, i slept. haha. That's all. hehe Skaadushh

out, ★

2010-01-23T20:00:00.000+08:00

★

2010-01-23T19:24:00.001+08:00

All i can say,

I'll love you till the end ♥

★

White Horse

2010-01-22T19:31:00.000+08:00

I don't know why but i feel good right now. hehe. Like i feel totally regenerated and fresh and just woosh! hehe :P. I've got school tomorrow but i'm lazy to go because cm entah, it's a Saturday for god's sake. Its a day for sleeping or hanging out. Not for studying. Homework, yes. Not studying. Haha,

My whole leg is aching right now due to lack of exercise and suddenly do sports. Hah! Cramps. That's the word. Haha. I've got the cramps. hehe. :P Anyways, kapoww. hehe. I don't know whats wrong with me. I feel weird and sort of good and there's like this tickly butterfly feeling inside my tummy. I somehow think it is a good thing. Some people would know why i'm so giddy right now. hehe ;D Oh and i don't know why but i am like totally addicted to the song White Horse Stephen Jerzak version. haha. And and airto. woohoo! Okay i don't know what else to say. Skaadushh :)

out, ★

2010-01-22T14:28:00.000+08:00

IN YOUR FACE! :)

21st January, 2010 ♥

out, ★

Surprise!

2010-01-17T13:18:00.000+08:00

Hey all! Yesterday i got a not-so-surprised surprise sweet sixteen party from my family. Awww (': At first i really had no clue but then when the hints and all were like all over the place, i caught it. Haha but i was still awwed by the fact that they gave me a surprise party i wanted. hehe. Felt like crying at that point but noo, eyeliner! HAHA. We ate at chillies and it was nice.

Then the birthday cake came. And I didn't notice what cake it was until it was in front of my face. It was a Häagen Daz Belgian Chocolate ice cream cake that I showed my dad and sister. It was damn expensive so i didn't think they'd get it but they did! ('''':

This is my birthday cake people! woohoo! :D Then after that, it's present time. Guess what I got. I GOT A TELESCOPE! :O :O :O I ACTUALLY SCREAMED! I WAS SO EXCITED BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I WANTED. HEEEEEEE :D

Okay that's all. hehe. bubye! skaadushh!

out, ★

2010-01-16T14:02:00.002+08:00

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus]

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

Perfection

2010-01-16T13:58:00.000+08:00

hello all! I don't know why, despite a few miserable situations, i'm beginning to enjoy 2010. Why? one, I'm lucky enough to be in a sub science class even though i didn't get an A for science. Which is utterly awesome. hehe. I'm getting used to my class already. I wasn't all okay with it at first because i didn't have any of my close friends in there which is sad it's okay i guess. Now i've made new friends. New as in never thought i'd be in the same class as these people. I feel as though i'm the stupidest person in class. -__-

I am probably like one the latest to understand chapter one of add maths. And thats only the first chapter. How will i cope with the rest man. haha. You wanna know something? Its surprising for me that so far, I can understand physics and chemistry fast. I'm not saying that in a over-confident snobbish way. It's just that, wow. Syaq? Understands science? Dayummn. Haha. Hard to believe but I enjoy learning physics and chemistry.

My class did an experiment for heating and cooling naphtalene yesterday in chemistry class. I was like so jakun. Ask Adira and Acap. I was like "Oh my god! aah cool gilaa!" haha. Anyways. Since school started, I haven't been given that much homework like my other friends have. Except for maths. Oh Pn. Hamizawati loves giving lotsa homeworks. It's a good thing it's easy, or not, die die die! haha. Recently I finally understood add maths. I've been copying Adira's book all this while but now, I understand! Accomplishment baby! :D

Oh and did i tell you my birthday is in 2 days? Yeah, it is. My lovely sweet sixteen. My friends are planning to go to OU after school and celebrate. I'm uber excited. Can't wait. I'll finally be 16. (':

out, ★